bAby bLuRtz
HEY GUYZ
remember my last post abt the truth?
yep..it helpz me moves on sooooo much..
2 all my ex lovers,pminatz n crushez..
u guys get on k??
i so love getting on with my life..
how things had changed..
Saturday, January 31, 2009
SPECIALLY FOR BRANDON AND AMANDA
bAby bLuRtz
1st,hey brandon.thanks for viewing my blog. it wasn't meant 2 hurt or kc mlu u,it was a confession 4rm me coz i nid 2 get out of all the past stories.. so amanda told me u feel guilty,but to tell you the truth,i kinda mau ckp tq..coz u showed me not to fall 4 a guy easily and not to trust a guy way 2 much.. so x pyh la rsa anything coz truly,d crush i had on u da lama hlang.. zman batu agn..haha.. gud lucks in ur life.. move on and get on with ur own story.. XD
2nd,manda,i know u meant well and u told him pn actually xda salah.coz he dun mean anything nw.never did,come to think of it. well actually tq 2 coz u made him read my confessions and now he knwz the truth..
anyway brandon,hope u baca d blog smpi abiz..btw,mcm mn od ur mka??i 4got..lol..
manda,ur stil my lol cuzie..haha
1st,hey brandon.thanks for viewing my blog. it wasn't meant 2 hurt or kc mlu u,it was a confession 4rm me coz i nid 2 get out of all the past stories.. so amanda told me u feel guilty,but to tell you the truth,i kinda mau ckp tq..coz u showed me not to fall 4 a guy easily and not to trust a guy way 2 much.. so x pyh la rsa anything coz truly,d crush i had on u da lama hlang.. zman batu agn..haha.. gud lucks in ur life.. move on and get on with ur own story.. XD
2nd,manda,i know u meant well and u told him pn actually xda salah.coz he dun mean anything nw.never did,come to think of it. well actually tq 2 coz u made him read my confessions and now he knwz the truth..
anyway brandon,hope u baca d blog smpi abiz..btw,mcm mn od ur mka??i 4got..lol..
manda,ur stil my lol cuzie..haha
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Truth Be Told..MY SIDE OF THE STORY..
bAby bLuRtz
so everyone keeps asking me why was i a heartless girl for love last time.. i'm so tired of explaining, so i'm coming clean. plus it's been in my head for far too long. i don't care if those who are involved in this post reads this. they need to know. not that it matters, but i just feel that it's time to move on and get the story out. or else you guys will always label me as the girl that was cruel enough to hurt guys.. lol..
okay.. my 1st crush, i think it was arthur from my primary 4 class. that crush was on and off cos he was kinda liking this pretty girl named pin jin. and i was no match. but well, that crush was not like long or anything. it was a stupid 'oh!he's cute!' kinda thing cos all of us been through that time in primary school when we were so absorbed in love story in our fairytales. haha.. so 1st crush didn't work out.
then there's this guy named brandon john from sunday school when i was 13. see? i remember him cos he's the most memorable crush i've ever had. haha. gila. i remember he was in my sunday class and he always sits in the table in front of the table me n my sunday girls sat. my friend melissa like him so much she talks about 'that cute guy' so much. and i never cared. haha. i was busy being stylish,trying to be the trendsetter there. haha. moving on,our class had to be separated into 2. 1 class stayed at the same room while the other half had to go into another class at parish. it was so new back then. still is now. haha. anyways, me and this brandon was part of the half that had to go to parish hall. melissa was like 'what? jaga him for me.." and everything. i did. sorta. brandon always stole a look at me and i always returned it. haha. then we had this young's people mass where we,the young ones take over all the jobs in mass. choir,wardens,ushers and so on. except the priest la. haha. during practice, me and brandon were the chosen ones to be the main warden la kinda. haha. teacher even say you guys look 'ngam' together. haha. then the same day, melissa ask me to ask his name and everything. i know that at that time, we look like total fools. gosh. but anyways, we did found out his name and then the story gets better cos after that,melissa sorta think that brandon was into me cos he always said bye to me and everything melissa wish he will do to her. even during thje mass, we went together and everything. we sat closely together cos all the other young ones wanted us to be together. budu. haha. and i think i passed a note to him to ask him to layan melissa or something like that. but he and melissa never really talk. :(
anyways,while confirmation course, me and amanda,my cousin sat together. then brandon came with his friends and had a choice to either sit with his friends or sit with us. guess what? he chose to sit right beside me the whole course. lunch,tea and everything,he was with me n amanda. mostly with me la. haha. so the crush grew bigger. i think by that time i was already in form 3.
but then sad thing was amanda told me he's into Trish. and amanda was his new bff. instead of me. sad.
the thing that erase my crush on him was the day mw,amanda,him and johnson went to an outing together. i was treated like i wasn't even there. i was like the stupid invisible caperon while the guys kept paying attention to amanda. i was so mad at them. hence, the heartless ERICA. i say no to ever liking a guy. i said FUCK THEM ALL WITH THEIR STUPIDITY. hah.
at the same time,when was 13,i had a small 2nd crush. he was a senior in kian kok. his name was Choo Rong An,Brian for short. everytime he passed my class,my friends would tease me and i would look out just to see him passing by. doy. punya buruk. eh,come to think about it,he looks a bit like my current boyfriend. haha. anyways,he only talked to me once and that crush padam sendiri tanpa disedari. haha.
so after the whole brandon thing,i never wanted to be in a relationship. NEVER! when i moved into another school for form 2, i think it was then that i realize that i kinda grab attention. ba,sumandak uda kan.. anyway, i think i remembered how alan and daniel fought for me to be their gf. lucu2. alan was sweet la. he always buy me drinks and come to see me and dating la whatever. when i was sick he was there. haha. he wrote my name and his everywhere. pencilcase,bottles,u name it. but the relationship pun i pandang tiada2. coz i xtau we actually couple. haha. budu.
then there's hishyam. ego dia bukan main hebat. he never said it's his fault. i was always the one to blame. he sayang me but still,i never cared because time 2,banyak orang lain mau ba. and he pun bikin sakit hati ja. surat ba jadi communicator. budu. anyway, i broke it off jg. until form 3 he still sayang me and he did tried to kiss me and try to be romantic and all,but i didn't let him and never cared cos for me,GUYZ R NOTHING!!
then for many years i became so heartless i break every heart that adores me. playgirl la kunu. but never lose my maruah. i'm a conservative girl okay? they were treted like pizza ni. haha. cian.. jahat oo sa. sorry ah.. whoever yang minat2 me time 2 mmg cian la. xda layanan ni. cian kamu.. siow.. i was heartless.
then tiba2 i have a crush on Jaejay. pasal dia cute. tapi 1 day he ask Robson to go to the library knowing i was going too. gila. happy tul time 2. semangat ni mau p. then he turned up with his gf. punya sandi. nangis jg la skejap.. haha.. tapi x lama cos me balik jadi heartless in 2 seconds after lepas geram dgn c mel..haha.. tQ meL..
jangan ctau org..haha..
anyways, awl 2008 i was hurt,but by april i was happy again. cos 12th April 2008 marked the day i kapel with Jerald Philip. haha. our story? well,he's my uncle's wife's brother. so in some ways,we're connected. he's supposed to be my uncle. haha. anyway,we 1st met on december 07 at my aunt a.k.a his sis' house. he bru fnish spm.. 2 2 jual mahal ni. xmau layan kunu. 1st thing i noticed was he look like brandon.(brandon and brian?byk jg sama muka ni?) but he was so sombong i told another aunty that he's sombong. haha. anyway,my another uncle jokingly said 'ko ada gf?' to him and he said no. then unclr joked 'ni ank c genie(my mum),ko xmau?dia single ni.' i remembered saying 'doy uncle!' haha.. disgusted la kunu.
then,i think on jan like that i went to my mum's office with mummy and my sis. he walked out of the supermarket downstairs drinking cola and walking towards the tong sampah. and he stole a look at me. i was trying to remember who he was. like that la. after that day my mum kept telling me he kirim salam and everything. and she told me his name. like that la. the 2nd time i went there knowing he kirim salam. malu2 la me. control ayu kunu. and his friends teased him about me. 3rd time was when i made up my mind to really get to know him. but he wasn't there. so sedih la kunu mission x jd.
tp ptg2 he ada already. when i walked into the supermarket,he stole a long look at me. sa sedar tu tpi buat xtau. haha. anyway after that,my mum had to go somewhere me and my sis cannot go. so we had to go my aunt's house for awhile. it was nearby ba. so i took the chance and ask jerald if the computer there still works cos he's staying there. he said nope. and he ask why. i told him we had to go there while my mum busy. he asked me to wait for him n sama2 jalan balik at 4.30pm. i laughed and said gila. tpi dalam hati,haha..
so off we went to auntie's house and he came back earlier than expected. ponteng kerja ba. i was in the toilet when i overheard him asking auntie where i was. haha. malu dia when i came out. then we went to have tea with my mum and sis. that's when we really had a real conversation.bla3..
back at auntie's home,auntie told us to stay for dinner. and before we head home,he asked for my num. skill 2 ba. he said mau contact about skating.kunu la. haha. then we started to chat. i remembered telling him to buy digi cos at 1st he use celcom. and he did,the next day. haha.. sweet.. then the rest is history..
so see? my love life was so teruk at my early years that i became heartless. only last year did i found myself truly falling in love and giving love a chance. haha. i don't regret it at all. never. Jerald is the guy i always wanted. he's not perfect but neither am i. our relationships had ups and downs but still,we still loved each other at the end. he still owns my heart.. till now.. we're coming to our 10 months anni..haha.. suprised??
so that's how i became heartless and then went into becoming the girl in love.. paham uda ka???
stop asking me...haha
end of story....
so everyone keeps asking me why was i a heartless girl for love last time.. i'm so tired of explaining, so i'm coming clean. plus it's been in my head for far too long. i don't care if those who are involved in this post reads this. they need to know. not that it matters, but i just feel that it's time to move on and get the story out. or else you guys will always label me as the girl that was cruel enough to hurt guys.. lol..
okay.. my 1st crush, i think it was arthur from my primary 4 class. that crush was on and off cos he was kinda liking this pretty girl named pin jin. and i was no match. but well, that crush was not like long or anything. it was a stupid 'oh!he's cute!' kinda thing cos all of us been through that time in primary school when we were so absorbed in love story in our fairytales. haha.. so 1st crush didn't work out.
then there's this guy named brandon john from sunday school when i was 13. see? i remember him cos he's the most memorable crush i've ever had. haha. gila. i remember he was in my sunday class and he always sits in the table in front of the table me n my sunday girls sat. my friend melissa like him so much she talks about 'that cute guy' so much. and i never cared. haha. i was busy being stylish,trying to be the trendsetter there. haha. moving on,our class had to be separated into 2. 1 class stayed at the same room while the other half had to go into another class at parish. it was so new back then. still is now. haha. anyways, me and this brandon was part of the half that had to go to parish hall. melissa was like 'what? jaga him for me.." and everything. i did. sorta. brandon always stole a look at me and i always returned it. haha. then we had this young's people mass where we,the young ones take over all the jobs in mass. choir,wardens,ushers and so on. except the priest la. haha. during practice, me and brandon were the chosen ones to be the main warden la kinda. haha. teacher even say you guys look 'ngam' together. haha. then the same day, melissa ask me to ask his name and everything. i know that at that time, we look like total fools. gosh. but anyways, we did found out his name and then the story gets better cos after that,melissa sorta think that brandon was into me cos he always said bye to me and everything melissa wish he will do to her. even during thje mass, we went together and everything. we sat closely together cos all the other young ones wanted us to be together. budu. haha. and i think i passed a note to him to ask him to layan melissa or something like that. but he and melissa never really talk. :(
anyways,while confirmation course, me and amanda,my cousin sat together. then brandon came with his friends and had a choice to either sit with his friends or sit with us. guess what? he chose to sit right beside me the whole course. lunch,tea and everything,he was with me n amanda. mostly with me la. haha. so the crush grew bigger. i think by that time i was already in form 3.
but then sad thing was amanda told me he's into Trish. and amanda was his new bff. instead of me. sad.
the thing that erase my crush on him was the day mw,amanda,him and johnson went to an outing together. i was treated like i wasn't even there. i was like the stupid invisible caperon while the guys kept paying attention to amanda. i was so mad at them. hence, the heartless ERICA. i say no to ever liking a guy. i said FUCK THEM ALL WITH THEIR STUPIDITY. hah.
at the same time,when was 13,i had a small 2nd crush. he was a senior in kian kok. his name was Choo Rong An,Brian for short. everytime he passed my class,my friends would tease me and i would look out just to see him passing by. doy. punya buruk. eh,come to think about it,he looks a bit like my current boyfriend. haha. anyways,he only talked to me once and that crush padam sendiri tanpa disedari. haha.
so after the whole brandon thing,i never wanted to be in a relationship. NEVER! when i moved into another school for form 2, i think it was then that i realize that i kinda grab attention. ba,sumandak uda kan.. anyway, i think i remembered how alan and daniel fought for me to be their gf. lucu2. alan was sweet la. he always buy me drinks and come to see me and dating la whatever. when i was sick he was there. haha. he wrote my name and his everywhere. pencilcase,bottles,u name it. but the relationship pun i pandang tiada2. coz i xtau we actually couple. haha. budu.
then there's hishyam. ego dia bukan main hebat. he never said it's his fault. i was always the one to blame. he sayang me but still,i never cared because time 2,banyak orang lain mau ba. and he pun bikin sakit hati ja. surat ba jadi communicator. budu. anyway, i broke it off jg. until form 3 he still sayang me and he did tried to kiss me and try to be romantic and all,but i didn't let him and never cared cos for me,GUYZ R NOTHING!!
then for many years i became so heartless i break every heart that adores me. playgirl la kunu. but never lose my maruah. i'm a conservative girl okay? they were treted like pizza ni. haha. cian.. jahat oo sa. sorry ah.. whoever yang minat2 me time 2 mmg cian la. xda layanan ni. cian kamu.. siow.. i was heartless.
then tiba2 i have a crush on Jaejay. pasal dia cute. tapi 1 day he ask Robson to go to the library knowing i was going too. gila. happy tul time 2. semangat ni mau p. then he turned up with his gf. punya sandi. nangis jg la skejap.. haha.. tapi x lama cos me balik jadi heartless in 2 seconds after lepas geram dgn c mel..haha.. tQ meL..
jangan ctau org..haha..
anyways, awl 2008 i was hurt,but by april i was happy again. cos 12th April 2008 marked the day i kapel with Jerald Philip. haha. our story? well,he's my uncle's wife's brother. so in some ways,we're connected. he's supposed to be my uncle. haha. anyway,we 1st met on december 07 at my aunt a.k.a his sis' house. he bru fnish spm.. 2 2 jual mahal ni. xmau layan kunu. 1st thing i noticed was he look like brandon.(brandon and brian?byk jg sama muka ni?) but he was so sombong i told another aunty that he's sombong. haha. anyway,my another uncle jokingly said 'ko ada gf?' to him and he said no. then unclr joked 'ni ank c genie(my mum),ko xmau?dia single ni.' i remembered saying 'doy uncle!' haha.. disgusted la kunu.
then,i think on jan like that i went to my mum's office with mummy and my sis. he walked out of the supermarket downstairs drinking cola and walking towards the tong sampah. and he stole a look at me. i was trying to remember who he was. like that la. after that day my mum kept telling me he kirim salam and everything. and she told me his name. like that la. the 2nd time i went there knowing he kirim salam. malu2 la me. control ayu kunu. and his friends teased him about me. 3rd time was when i made up my mind to really get to know him. but he wasn't there. so sedih la kunu mission x jd.
tp ptg2 he ada already. when i walked into the supermarket,he stole a long look at me. sa sedar tu tpi buat xtau. haha. anyway after that,my mum had to go somewhere me and my sis cannot go. so we had to go my aunt's house for awhile. it was nearby ba. so i took the chance and ask jerald if the computer there still works cos he's staying there. he said nope. and he ask why. i told him we had to go there while my mum busy. he asked me to wait for him n sama2 jalan balik at 4.30pm. i laughed and said gila. tpi dalam hati,haha..
so off we went to auntie's house and he came back earlier than expected. ponteng kerja ba. i was in the toilet when i overheard him asking auntie where i was. haha. malu dia when i came out. then we went to have tea with my mum and sis. that's when we really had a real conversation.bla3..
back at auntie's home,auntie told us to stay for dinner. and before we head home,he asked for my num. skill 2 ba. he said mau contact about skating.kunu la. haha. then we started to chat. i remembered telling him to buy digi cos at 1st he use celcom. and he did,the next day. haha.. sweet.. then the rest is history..
so see? my love life was so teruk at my early years that i became heartless. only last year did i found myself truly falling in love and giving love a chance. haha. i don't regret it at all. never. Jerald is the guy i always wanted. he's not perfect but neither am i. our relationships had ups and downs but still,we still loved each other at the end. he still owns my heart.. till now.. we're coming to our 10 months anni..haha.. suprised??
so that's how i became heartless and then went into becoming the girl in love.. paham uda ka???
stop asking me...haha
end of story....
Monday, January 26, 2009
i love him
bAby bLuRtz
gosh my dear,itz only you on my mind. i should go to bed now. but i can't help thinking about you. i miss you a lot. i can't bear the thought of losing you. if i have to,i know it'll hurt me so much. knowing that i love you, but i couldn't be with you. if only you knew, that i'm not trying to break you off, but i cant be too attached, or else when you walk away,i'll cry my heart out.
life isn't always sweet,i know that.but with you,you showed me why i cant leave you. you're my everything. please never say i'm playing your heart,coz i'm not. you meant the world to me. i never knew i could fall in love so deep with you. if i can have 1 more day with you, i'll kiss and hug you so tight,i'll tell you,MY DEAR,YOU ARE MY LIFE...
gosh my dear,itz only you on my mind. i should go to bed now. but i can't help thinking about you. i miss you a lot. i can't bear the thought of losing you. if i have to,i know it'll hurt me so much. knowing that i love you, but i couldn't be with you. if only you knew, that i'm not trying to break you off, but i cant be too attached, or else when you walk away,i'll cry my heart out.
life isn't always sweet,i know that.but with you,you showed me why i cant leave you. you're my everything. please never say i'm playing your heart,coz i'm not. you meant the world to me. i never knew i could fall in love so deep with you. if i can have 1 more day with you, i'll kiss and hug you so tight,i'll tell you,MY DEAR,YOU ARE MY LIFE...
so happy
bAby bLuRtz
my dear
you made me so happy today.. when you told me you love me so much,and when u show me what's it's like to be loved. i really felt what you told me..i really love you a lot too..you promised me so many things i could never feel i deserve it..but dear,you are my sunshine n my strength..and i do mean it when i tell you i really love you..no one can ever replace you.i know that.because loving you ang you loving me in return made me feel like i do deserve to love and be happy.if i ever make you sad,make you mad,or never treat u nicely,i'm truly sorry..but dear,if u ask me,the answer is yes my dear,i love you..
i'm willing to go to the place you want
i'm willing to marry you by the age of 25(jgn mrh..)
i'm willing to have your kids
i'm willing to forever be your baby..
JERALD PHILIP
I'm IN LOVE WITH YOU..
TRULY MADLY DEEPLY
my dear
you made me so happy today.. when you told me you love me so much,and when u show me what's it's like to be loved. i really felt what you told me..i really love you a lot too..you promised me so many things i could never feel i deserve it..but dear,you are my sunshine n my strength..and i do mean it when i tell you i really love you..no one can ever replace you.i know that.because loving you ang you loving me in return made me feel like i do deserve to love and be happy.if i ever make you sad,make you mad,or never treat u nicely,i'm truly sorry..but dear,if u ask me,the answer is yes my dear,i love you..
i'm willing to go to the place you want
i'm willing to marry you by the age of 25(jgn mrh..)
i'm willing to have your kids
i'm willing to forever be your baby..
JERALD PHILIP
I'm IN LOVE WITH YOU..
TRULY MADLY DEEPLY
Saturday, January 3, 2009
bReaKinG mY heeLz..
bAby bLuRtz
let's have a quick flashback.
few minutes to new year: he told her he love her. she said it's still early. he said it's ok. better early than late. she was flattered. yala..apa x..kna ckp i love you and stuff. also he told her his resolutions. and 1 of them includes her. bla3..
3/1/09
just 3 days after new year and now they're having problems. he seems bored. she's fighting for his attention. she's worried cos' he was at his hometown where his ex is everywhere in sight. ya they broke up. after 7 months of passionless love story(ya right!). but he took 1 year and a half just to forget the girl he never even hold hands with. what is wrong with him? okay. maybe it's a good thing in some ways. but.. okay i can't explain it..
now she's like a bit confused.
she loves him..
questions in her mind now..
HE LOVES HER.. HE LOVES HER NOT..
let's have a quick flashback.
few minutes to new year: he told her he love her. she said it's still early. he said it's ok. better early than late. she was flattered. yala..apa x..kna ckp i love you and stuff. also he told her his resolutions. and 1 of them includes her. bla3..
3/1/09
just 3 days after new year and now they're having problems. he seems bored. she's fighting for his attention. she's worried cos' he was at his hometown where his ex is everywhere in sight. ya they broke up. after 7 months of passionless love story(ya right!). but he took 1 year and a half just to forget the girl he never even hold hands with. what is wrong with him? okay. maybe it's a good thing in some ways. but.. okay i can't explain it..
now she's like a bit confused.
she loves him..
questions in her mind now..
HE LOVES HER.. HE LOVES HER NOT..
wHat wiLL u caL diz
bAby bLuRtz
aPriL'z BlooM
The BoyFrieNd
tHe gIrLfrieNd???
p/s SOMEONE REALLY LOVE THIS GUY AND THE GIRL
Thursday, January 1, 2009
WELCOME 2009
bAby bLuRtz
WELCOME 2009.THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I DIDN'T REALIZE TIME PASSES ME BY.
haha...my new year celebration last night was like ok. my 2nd bro put on the countdown and we waited for the new year moment. i bathed my chihuahua named poly. he was so excited. me 2.. okay enough of that crap..
this year,
let us all try to be the best we can be.
let us all try and go green.
let us all try not to trash BRITNEY SPEARS so much ok?
let us all have a great new year.
let us all understands the quote LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH
try n explore
big is beautiful
everyone is awesome
dance more
less war
c hw obama does..(he's awesome)
understands the need to not be mean..
XD
more later..
WELCOME 2009.THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I DIDN'T REALIZE TIME PASSES ME BY.
haha...my new year celebration last night was like ok. my 2nd bro put on the countdown and we waited for the new year moment. i bathed my chihuahua named poly. he was so excited. me 2.. okay enough of that crap..
this year,
let us all try to be the best we can be.
let us all try and go green.
let us all try not to trash BRITNEY SPEARS so much ok?
let us all have a great new year.
let us all understands the quote LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH
try n explore
big is beautiful
everyone is awesome
dance more
less war
c hw obama does..(he's awesome)
understands the need to not be mean..
XD
more later..
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